Monster Sauce

Eww, right?! I can’t even be bothered to take a decent picture of this because—I’ll be the first to admit—it’s just not cute. It doesn’t matter. Go to Target, find a piece of children’s dishware with robots around the rim (not that I did that), and pile it full of this sludge. After one bite, no one will care what it looks like.

This is barely a recipe. It’s onions and raisins. I recently purchased the Westchester County Tricentennial Cookbook, 1683-1983. How could I turn down a book with a recipe for “Yonkers Rice Pudding?” Something else that caught my eye was “Raisin Sauce for Ham.” Weird. Oddly specific. But, making raisins into a goop and smearing them on stuff is a GREAT idea. There’s this recipe, which I thought sounded good, but kind of fancy for me. I feel like anything with pine nuts is just out of my league.

I am really excited about what I came up with because it uses ingredients that are cheap, plus you probably already have them on hand. It’s by no means a finished product. I think it would be great spiked with nice vinegar if you have some. You could even play up the savory side of this sauce by pureeing in some garlic. Your omnivore friends can enjoy this with some salty cheese and (gluten-free!) crackers and your vegan friends will have to tell me how awesome this tastes on pumpernickel.

Monster Sauce
The amount of onions here is not super crucial. I had a bunch of small onions leftover from the last weeks of my CSA and I used 6 of them. I would shoot for about 1 1/4 cup (pre-carmelization) if it makes you feel better to measure. If you’re buying more normal size onions, go for 2 medium-large ones. It can never hurt to end up with too many carmelized onions. You can blend them into your raisin mixture to taste and do nice things with the leftovers.

1 cup raisins
6 small onions, chopped
5 second pour olive oil
salt

1. Carmelize the onions and set aside. If you’ve never carmelized onions before, here are some super in-depth instructions. I gravitate toward simplicity, so I’d leave out the extra “optional” ingredients they suggest. I also used oil instead of butter.
2. Set aside onions.
3. Put raisins in a small saucepan and cover with water.
4. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and let the raisins simmer until they plump up. This will take 12-15 minutes.
5. Drain the cooking water from the raisins. You don’t want to press any moisture from the raisins themselves, just drain them from their cooking water.
6. In a blender or food processor (if you don’t have either, mash!) combine the carmelized onions and the plump, happy raisins. Blend until a smooth paste forms. Season to taste with salt and refrigerate.

The Pumpkin Coffee Cake That Wasn’t

You won't be able to wait for this to get out of the oven (see toothpick holes, lower left)

I hadn’t really thought about what makes a coffee cake a coffee cake until I made this one last night. This has been the only coffee cake recipe I’ve made for years and it has gone through many incarnations. It started here. Rachel Ray and I have some drama. Here’s the basics, I used to hate her guts. I REALLY couldn’t deal with the perky. As soon as she put out a magazine and I didn’t have to listen to her talk, I was able to respect the fact that she made cooking really accessible for people. Go Ray-Ray!

Anyway, this coffee cake has no crumbs and no powdered sugar, but it’s incredibly versatile. I’ve used it as a starting point to make gluten-free banana chocolate chip coffee cake, gluten-free cinnamon chocolate chip coffee cake, and now vegan, gluten-free pumpkin coffee cake.

The Pumpkin Coffee Cake That Wasn’t

The pumpkin recipe party is still going strong on twitter and I am jumping (again) on the bandwagon. I included xanthan gum in this recipe. I know that will make some folks sad. Understandable. The texture of this cake is so fab (thanks to the flax egg and pumpkin) that I bet it would do fine without the xanthan.

1 cup Bob’s Red Mill All Purpose Flour
3/4 t baking powder
1/2 t baking soda
1/4 t salt
1/4 t xanthan gum
1/2 + 1/8 cup sugar
1 t pumpkin pie spice
1/4 cup shortening (I used Spectrum)
1 flax egg
1/2 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 t vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350. Make your flax egg and let it set and get gummy.
2. Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and 1/2 t pumpkin pie spice in a small bowl and set aside.
3. In another small bowl combine 1/8 cup sugar and the remaining 1/2 t pumpkin pie spice and set aside.
4. Cream shortening and the remaining 1/2 cup sugar. Beat in pumpkin and vanilla.
5. Add the flour mixture in two parts and mix until fully incorporated.
6. Spread half of the batter (in an even layer) in a standard size loaf pan. Sprinkle with about half of the pumpkin pie spice/sugar mixture.
7. Repeat. Spread remaining batter in pan to form top layer and sprinkle with pumpkin pie spice/sugar. This may seem like a lot of work, but it forms a nice sugar and spice swirl in your cake.
8. Bake for 35 minutes at 350, or until a toothpick tester comes out clean.

Wordless Wednesday: Red Callaloo

Not my Mom’s Goulash

I have been crazy into shelling beans lately and I am not the only one. If you have never had the pleasure, shelling beans are just like the dried beans that you buy in a bag, except not. They’re fresh, in their shells. (Did you even know beans came in shells?!) They’re way better than dried, as you might guess. And in the case of cranberry beans, they’re gorgeous. 

I know I get more excited about produce than most, but seriously:

Before my shelling bean phase, I had an heirloom bean phase. Last year I placed a huge order from Rancho Gordo for the beans I thought were the prettiest. Like these and these. Real mature. The one problem with my Rancho Gordo beans was that I would scheme up great things to make with them, but when those babies were done cooking all I wanted to do drizzle them with olive oil and shove them in my mouth. They are that good. I have a similar problem with shelling beans. 

Googling for things to do with my Cranberry beans (not that there’s anything wrong with just eating them, but this was an exercise in restraint) I came across a recipe for Borlotti (another name for Cranberry) Bean Goulash. I have a horrible memory and weird things spark it. I had completely forgotten that as a child I used to beg my mom to make goulash. BEG! It should be noted that we are not Hungarian. I also really liked the word “goulash” and would say it over and over. One of my other faves as a kid was cream cheese sandwiches (plain cream cheese on white bread), which is much less fun to say. And eat. 

 

Not my Mom’s Goulash

So my mom’s goulash wasn’t vegan and it wasn’t gluten-free. This one is and is a great way to showcase the beans, short of eating them with olive oil and salt. I bought not quite a pound and a quarter to get 1 1/2 cups shelled beans. I ran out of paprika mid-recipe. I would. Anyway, I might experiment with adding more next time. PS: This stuff is even better the second day.

1 carrot, peeled and diced
1 celery stalk, diced
1 onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, sliced
1 T caraway seeds
3 second pour olive oil

1 1/2 t paprika
1 1/2 cup fresh cranberry beans, shelled 
1 cup gluten-free ditalini pasta (If you use another shape of pasta, you will probably need more. There are a lot of little ditalinis in a cup! Cook what you’d consider 2 servings of whatever pasta you use.) 
1 8oz can of tomato sauce

s&p to taste

1. Saute the garlic, onions, carrots, celery, and caraway seeds.

2. Add cranberry beans and just cover with water. With heat at medium, cook until the beans are tender, 20-30 minutes. 

3. While the beans are cooking, prepare the pasta according to the directions on the package. Drain. I chose to cook the pasta separately, but with the appropriate timing you could probably throw it all together.

4. When the beans are done cooking, you don’t want a lot of water left in the pan. There shouldn’t be a lot, but if you’ve had to add extra as the beans cook, drain it off now. Basically, there should just be enough water that everything isn’t sticking to the bottom of the pan. 

5. Reduce heat to low and add tomato sauce, pasta, paprika, and s&p to taste. Allow everything to warm through and serve.

Roasted Red Peppers for Poor People

Roasting your own red peppers is so rewarding. No, really. I first did it after reading Chocolate & Zucchini, by Clotilde Dusoulier. Her real-life job is cooking and even she was intimidated by it at first. When something is in the grocery store for $5 a jar, you just figure it’s hard to make right? Wrong. 

Six Reasons to Roast your own Red Peppers

1. It’s cheap! I bought the (above) slightly sad discount peppers at my neighborhood produce place for 10 cents each. They had a couple of soft spots, so I probably wouldn’t have wanted to slice them up for a salad, but they were perfect for roasting. I just rinsed them off and put them on a foil-lined baking sheet. 

2. It doesn’t matter if you peek in the oven! When the oven is heated to 475 degrees, put the peppers in and go about your business. Every once in a while, you’ll get curious (every 15 minutes or so) and open the oven. When you do that, give the peppers a turn. You’ll notice them getting all black and blistery. This is good!

3. They’re beautiful! You don’t want them completely blackened, but when the skins of the peppers are a good, gorgeous mix of red and black, take them out. 

4. It’s like a science project! Use the foil that lines the baking sheet to make an airtight (as possible) packet around the peppers. If you see steam escaping, try to remedy it. Now forget about it. 

5. It’s satisfying. Once you’ve waited as long as you can stand (ideally 30 minutes) open your little foil packet. The skins of the peppers will be papery and awesome. They will peel right off in large pieces. I would say this is the vegan equivalent of peeling a hard boiled egg and getting a nice big piece to come off all at once. Pull the plug (the stem), which should take most of the seeds along with it. Tear apart the pepper and clean any remaining seeds off with your fingers. Refrigerate and enjoy within a week or so. 

6. They are in season right now! Run!

(Worth Your Last Can of) Pumpkin Whoopie Pies with Molasses Buttercream

I grew up in Montana, where we were perpetually late on every trend. I would bet you someone there is (unironically) still collecting pogs. In proud Montana fashion, I am chiming in on the whoopie pie trend more than a few months late.

I realized that I was really stressed about the pumpkin shortage when I told boyfriend (for the third or fourth time) “Did I tell you about the pumpkin shortage?” Apparently, I had. The number of cans of pumpkin in my cupboard was exactly one.

I was talking to my twitter friend Nancy, of the fabulous Sensitive Pantry, about whether or not the two-ingredient cake (1 box cake mix plus 1 can pumpkin) would work with the Betty Crocker gluten-free mixes. She tried it and was kind of lukewarm on the results. I was reluctant to use my can of precious pumpkin on anything less than a sure thing, but talking to Nancy made me remember a pumpkin cookie recipe that I hadn’t whipped up forever. I had also been dying to make a molasses buttercream. Serendipity! The stars in charge of awesome treats were clearly aligned.

Pumpkin whoopie pies with molasses buttercream, good enough for your last can of pumpkin.

I tried to make up for the fact that these have 3/4 cup of potato starch in them by subbing in buckwheat and sorghum flours for white rice flour (which is what I had used in the past). Working whole grains into a gluten-free diet has been getting a lot of attention lately, so it has been on my mind, but use what you’ve got! I know white rice four is more readily available and will work fine here. Refrigerate these babies after assembling to keep the frosting from separating. 

For the cookies

1/2 cup buckwheat flour
1/2 cup sorghum flour
3/4 cup potato starch
1 t pumpkin pie spice
1 t baking soda
1 t baking powder
1/2 t xanthan gum
1/4 t salt

3/4 cup brown sugar, lightly packed (white works too)
1/2 cup shortening (I used Spectrum)
1 cup canned pumpkin

1. In a small bowl, whisk together the first eight ingredients.
2. In a larger bowl, cream together sugar and shortening. Add the pumpkin. Beat until well-combined. 
3. Add the dry ingredients to the pumpkin mixture and stir until combined. 
4. Scoop (making them as uniform as possible) onto parchment-lined baking sheet and pat down with moistened fingers. The cookies won’t spread much during baking. I used the aforementioned awesomest kitchen tool ever, which I think is about a tablespoon. Feel free to make them larger, just be sure to pat them down. 
5. Bake 10-12 minutes and remove to a wire rack to cool.

For the frosting

1 1/2 cup powdered sugar
2 T Earth Balance 
2 T Shortening, again I used Spectrum Organic (don’t bother leveling off your scoops)
1 t molasses
1 t vanilla extract
1 T non-milk

1. Combine all and beat until fluffy. Be generous with the frosting when you are assembling the pies and you should have just the right amount. 

Build-a-Boat Mushroom Sage Gravy on Roasted Roots

When still ate it, my preferred type of gravy was the plain, powdered and white. The stuff from a packet. It is one of those absurd (and, yes, kind of gross) food products that you can’t really compare to anything else. It just tastes like itself: white gravy flavored white gravy. Other things I can think of that fall into this category are the following: Kraft Singles and Wendy’s Chocolate Frosty.

This recipe couldn’t be more different. It draws on a ton of different tastes that I bet you already hold dear—your sense memory will be poppin.

I have been loving the hell out of my half gallon of So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk this week. This gravy wouldn’t have happened without it. I was skeptical about putting it in something that I DID NOT WANT want to taste like coconut, but it’s an absolute dream! Part of me wishes they would make smaller containers so I wouldn’t have to worry about using it up, but if they did I wouldn’t be as motivated to scheme up new uses for it.

Roasted Roots with Mushroom Sage Gravy

The amount of root vegetables you should use really depends on how many folks you are serving. What I used was enough for 2 main-dish servings. There will be enough gravy for 3 hearty portions. The leftover gravy reheats well and is great over toast. I think it is supposed to rain in New York City for the next 40 days. Start building a boat and make the following:

3 sm turnips, peeled and cubed
3 lg yellow/white beets, peeled and cubed

8 oz white button or crimini mushrooms, sliced

2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 sm onion, finely chopped
6-8 sage leaves, finely chopped (add less if you want it to taste less sage-y)
3 second pour olive oil
1/ 4 t thyme
1/4 t smoked paprika
2T cornstarch mixed with enough cold water so that it’s pourable
1 cup So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk, or another higher fat non-milk
1 can white beans, drained (optional)

1. Toss the root vegetables with a little bit of olive oil and whatever spices you’d like. I used black pepper and thyme. Toss the beets last and separately if you don’t want everything to be beet colored. 

2. Bake on a parchment lined baking sheet at 350 until tender. Depending on how small you cut them, this will probably be 30-40 minutes. Things like turnips will cook faster than things like beets. 

3. While the roots are roasting, make the gravy. Pour your three second pour of olive oil in your pot. Saute (over medium heat) garlic, onion, and sage until the onion is translucent. Add the mushrooms and saute until they release their juices. If you wanted to be a better cook, you could saute the mushrooms in single-layer batches in your pan, making sure they browned, then add them back in after sauteing the garlic, onions, and sage. I am not that good of a cook when I am hungry.

4. When the mushrooms, onion, garlic and sage are ready for action, add the coconut milk, thyme, and paprika. Heat to a boil and pour in your cornstarch mixture, stirring constantly. Reduce heat. 

5. If you are serving this as a main dish you might want to add a can a of beans to make it more meal-like. 

6. Pour the gravy and pray your landlord turns on the heat.

Wordless Wednesday: In the Headlights

taken with this on my way here.

My Cornbread is Cuter than Your Cornbread

I am a huge wuss regarding the following: goldfish, dead goldfish, mayonnaise in large quantities. I am pretty fearless in the kitchen, which means a lot of flops. After tossing my weight in gluten-free, vegan baked goods in the trash, I learned to start small.

I almost always cut a recipe in half. I like my clothes and I can only eat so many treats and still fit in them. Also a matter of vanity—a sunken mini cupcake is a smaller, easier to conceal disaster than a sunken cupcake or—god forbid—sheet cake. Gluten-free baked goods also don’t keep as long, so (I know it sounds crazy), but you want less of them. So, start with small batches. You will avoid financial ruin (gluten-free flours are damn expensive) and you will bake cuter things (mini-loaf).

Enough of the gloom and doom. I made these mini-corn muffins (for a weekend museum trip snack) using the recipe for cornbread from Babycakes the cookbook. It’s on the web here and here. A lot of folks reported struggling with some of the recipes in Babycakes, but I find this one to be easy (one bowl!) and relatively forgiving. I had drama with the gingersnaps, but then I bought an oven thermometer. Email me if you want to swap Babycakes cookbook secrets/war stories. The cornbread recipe is listed below with my modifications. Take that, Jiffy.

The most awesome kitchen accessory ever!

My Cornbread is Cuter than Your Cornbread
from Babycakes

1/3 cup non-milk
1 1/2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons Bob’s Red Mill All Purpose Gluten-free Baking Mix
1/4 cup cornmeal
1/4 cup corn flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup canola oil
2 tablespoons + 2 teaspoons agave
2 tablespoons + 2 teaspoons applesauce
1 teaspoon vanilla

1. Preheat your oven to 325.
2. Combine your fake milk and the apple cider vinegar and set aside so it can get nasty.
3. Whisk together the dry ingredients.
4. Make a well in the middle. I am not sure that “making a well” is necessary in this case, but I like including this step because it is in a lot of my grandmother’s recipes.
5. Add oil, applesauce, agave, and vanilla in the well. Stir until combined.
6. Add the nastied non-milk and stir gently until a batter is formed.
7. Scoop into lined mini-muffin tins.
8. Bake for 11-12 minutes, giving the pan a one-eighty half way though.

Makes 24

Peanut Butter Chocolate Mousse: A Call for Submissions

I made this chocolate peanut butter mousse, but decided not to post the recipe because it’s not quite there yet. It’s in its awkward teen years. The main idea was silken tofu, cocoa powder, agave, peanut butter, non-milk, and a blender. You can probably figure things out from there. I decided to test out a theory. I am thinking that most every vegan or dairy-avoider has their own version of the silken tofu mousse. It’s kind of like tofu scramble: the non-recipe recipe that everyone has a recipe for. This is my favorite, but I kind of want one that I can put my name on. That just got a little weird and flag planter-y. I may have accidentally just colonized your tofu. 

Comment at me! Let’s hear about your vegan mousse with the mostest. I promise not to steal.